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Navigating Spaces That Are Exclusively "White For No Reason"
Tik Toker @Accidentalastroboy discusses the power of de-gentrying your mind in an attempt to navigate spaces that are exclusively "white for no reason." Within the video titled 'Gentrification of our mind,' Accidentalastroboy provides examples of "white for no reason" spaces within television. That 70s Show, The Big Bang Theory, and Lord of the Rings were examples of shows utilized for strategic segregation and escapism. Escapism from Black, Brown, and Indigenous people. The Tiktoker, states "my money is my vote in capitalism," which informs what they consciously choose to engage with and support. One can argue against the necessity of Black-centered media, however unlike "white for no reason" spaces, due to exclusion, there was a necessity to create content that centered black life and experiences due to an identifiable deficit. What do you do when you do not see yourself in the media that you consume? Gilmore Girls serves as a prime example of racial exclusion and a show being "white for no reason." I can count on one hand the number of POC within that show, and less than three fingers are recurring characters. I attempted to watch solely for the mother-daughter relationship, but the white utopian feel made it nearly impossible, and almost painful to watch. Over the summer, I also watched One Tree Hill for the first time and identified that almost immediately the black male characters are solely there to push Lucas' narrative forward. A from rags to riches trope. The Black characters in many white-centered shows are only there to push the narrative forward or serve as props. There is an absence of depth, which sparks the question, what do you do when you do not see yourself in the media that you consume? Like a child, it is time to place yourself at the center of everything and finally serve as the area of focus. Degentrify your mind! How To De-gentrify Your Life and Place Yourself At The Center: Step one: Audit the media and literature that you consume within your life. Access the content that you interact with often. How does the content make you feel? What do you enjoy? What do you dislike? What improvement would you make, if any? How diverse is the content? Do you feel underrepresented? Do you see yourself or aspects of yourself in the media that you are consuming? Is the media a realistic representation of any identities that you hold? What themes do you identify? If there are people of color present, what roles are they in? Who is the writer, producer, etc? Are the distributors of the content and creators of certain characters within the media informed about nuances and cultural practices? After accessing and engaging in a comprehensive life audit, ask yourself am I at the center? If the answer is no, are you okay with that response? Step two: Strategically seek out what you're missing and enjoy. Don't settle for what executives think people of your race, gender, etc value I strategically avoid media that glorifies drug dealing, extreme violence and brutality, hyper-sexuality, and anything that exploits black trauma and engages in the degradation of the black body. The Wonder Years, The Upshaws, and The Ms.Pat Show are a few modern shows that I have watched that are black-centered that are not rooted in black trauma, exploitation, and abuse. When attempting to degentrify your viewership, be mindful of the content that you consume related to your identity. Constantly ask yourself, what is true? Are the beliefs that I hold informed by me or are they rooted in anti-blackness, racism, prejudice, bias, exclusion, etc? When I am searching for content for me, I follow the criteria of seeking something that's informational, family-friendly, thought-provoking, funny, intentional, and well-executed. We can use the show Good Times as a great example to display the decolonization and degentrification of your viewing experience. Colonized/Gentrified view of Good Times: I don't want to watch a show about poor Black People. I am not poor and I can't relate to that. White people think that all black people are poor and Good Times plays into that stereotype. Decolonized/De-gentrified view of Good Times: I enjoy watching family-oriented shows and Good Times is a great example of a strong family unit, an active and involved father, and a loving and engaged community. Despite their financial circumstances, the Evans family displays a level of integrity and love that is admirable. In many ways, I can see myself in certain characters and storylines. You hold the power and in small ways you can influence your reality. List of my favorite shows to watch that are authentically Black/Carribean centered: Girlfriends The Bernie Mac Show My Wife and Kids All of Us One on One Half and Half Eve Living Single In the House The Parent 'Hood Good Times The Parkers Moesha Sister Sister That's So Raven A Different World Fresh Prince of Bel Air Hangin with Mr.Cooper Sanford and Son The Jeffersons Amen Desmond's The Ms.Pat Show The Upshaws The Wonder Years (2021) Martin The Jamie Foxx Show The Wayan's Brothers Everybody Hates Chris Family Matters Pose 227 Is engaging in centering yourself as a BiPOC within your reality necessary? Not only is centering yourself necessary, but it's a vital means of survival. We are taught to navigate the world in a manner that is the complete opposite. We are taught to make space and to shrink ourselves. To love oneself is an act of rebellion. “One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others. There was a time when I felt lousy about my over-forty body, saw myself as too fat, too this, or too that. Yet I fantasized about finding a lover who would give me the gift of being loved as I am. It is silly, isn't it, that I would dream of someone else offering to me the acceptance and affirmation I was withholding from myself. This was a moment when the maxim "You can never love anybody if you are unable to love yourself" made clear sense. And I add, "Do not expect to receive the love from someone else you do not give yourself.”― Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions This blog post primarily focused on racial identity, but consume content that highlights the diverse aspects of yourself. This is in no way instructing you to stop watching shows that center whiteness. I love to watch The Nanny, Young Sheldon, Gossip Girl, The Golden Girls and countless other shows that lack diversity. However, I prioritize and constantly rewatch shows where I am at the center. Watch shows that show appreciation for different body types, languages, hues, hair textures, and much more. Actively consume content where you see yourself and others, opposed to content that makes you feel othered. People of Color are people and deserve to feel seen in the content that they consume. Centering yourself does not stop at media spaces, but books, movies, music, podcasts, food, and so forth. What are you consuming holistically and how can you make it you centered? Add these identity and cultural vocabulary words to your word bank: Acculturation: cultural modification of an individual, group, or people by adapting to or borrowing traits from another culture. Enculturation: the process by which an individual learns the traditional content of a culture and assimilates its practices and values Assimilation: the process of becoming similar to something Disclaimer: The contents of Sincerely Sanguine's (SS) Site, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the SS Site (“Content”) are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the SS Site. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 or local emergency number immediately. SS does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by SS, SS employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of SS, or other visitors to the Site is solely at your own risk. The Site and the Content are provided on an “as is” basis.
Navigating Spaces That Are Exclusively "White For No Reason"
Tik Toker @Accidentalastroboy discusses the power of de-gentrying your mind in an attempt to navigate spaces that are exclusively "white for no reason." Within the video titled 'Gentrification of our mind,'...
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Neurodivergence: Understanding Autism in Black Girls and Women
Why are black girls and women under-diagnosed with ASD? Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is often under-diagnosed or left undiagnosed within many Blacks girls and women. The article, Black and Latino Children Are Often Overlooked When It Comes to Autism, identifies that many black and brown families lack the language to adequately express the needs and observed behaviors of their children. Rentz states that, "African-American families tend to arrive at the center with lots of documentation detailing behavior issues from their child's school or social services. With all those official papers sitting in front of them, it's much easier for a counselor to think "behavior disease" rather than 'autism,' says Kelly" (Rentz, 2018). Black children are scrutinized for their behavior and their diagnoses are closely related to misinterpreted behaviors and implicit biases. Let's talk numbers and ASD? Did you know that In 2020, 1 in 36 children aged 8, or about 4 percent of boys and 1 percent of girls, were estimated to have autism, the first time the prevalence for girls has exceeded 1 percent, according to data from the Autism Spectrum Diagnosis Disabilities Monitoring Network The prevalence of autism among White children was lower than among other racial and ethnic groups How Black autistic women and girls are excluded from conversations on resources and research, spotlights Bria Herbert's experience and her journey to obtaining an ASD diagnosis. Herbert was the eldest of four children and shares that these roles "lent a uniquely weighted mantle to Herbert growing up, including more responsibility, higher standards and expectations of success. Academically, it was a rarity for Hubert to not excel." Failure was not an option, and as a result her perfectionist and tailored approach at life, granted her the tools to excel academically, but Herbert identified areas of great deficits, but failed to pinpoint the cause. While many noted that "nothing was wrong with her something was different enough that it caught the attention of her peers and family." Many Black people acknowledge identifiable differences within their social networks, without explicitly naming the "thing." Tik Toker Meccavelli, provides her take on the Autism within the black community, where she utilizes Uncle Pete from Soul Food as a reference. "You know he's special." "They're just quiet, and like to keep to themselves." "They're a thinker, they don't say much." As discussed previously, Black people are able to identify symptoms and behaviors, but lack the language and knowledge, but again, Black Girls, Boys, Men, and Women are now starting to become included in conversations and research surrounding ASD and neurodivergence. Herbert mentions that “other people definitely noticed, but just liked me anyway,” Herbert considered herself :one of the lucky ones" and thanked God that she was a cute child. Which brings up a larger conversation about how pretty privilege and physical presentation contributes to how we treat and interact with those navigating disabilities and disorders. Another statistical fact related to ASD is that 46 percent of autistic children face bullying, according to a 2012 study in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine. How does Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) shows up in Black girls? Traits of autism in Black girls: Self-sufficiency Reclusion Display of Maturity and independence early Routine driven Attitude or oppositional defiance Repetitive behaviors Overly clean and orderly Hyperlexia and more... Young black girls that are often misdiagnosed or under-diagnosed, are often considered perfect and easy children because of their ability to entertain themselves, mature, and orderly disposition. These same children, if lucky, eventually learn to adapt to the outer world and mask their behaviors and quirks. Many black girls go into adulthood, undiagnosed constantly feeling out of place and different from their peers. Barries to obtaining an ASD diagnosis and why it's important: Embracing difference is critical in fostering acceptance and the welcoming of Autism and neurodivergence within society. Young White boys serve as the comparative measure when exploring research and ideals surrounding ASD. This practice negates the differences and presentations amongst demographics and comparing black girls with autism to white boys with autism is not an effective measure. It's important to identify key experiential aspects of the autistic black girl experience from an intersectional lens to further develop research and practices. Barriers to ASD diagnosis and treatment: Cost Language Bias Limited knowledge and resources While most insurance companies cover testing, related to early intervention and support for children, adults are expected to pay thousands of dollars in assessment fees or spend years waiting for clinical trials and research waitlists that usually offer support at a discounted rate, rather than free. Autism-related testing fees rand from $500 to $5,000, many assessment offers for adults are not covered by insurance. Amanda Seales, shared within her Club Shay Shay interview that she has self-diagnosed with the ASD diagnosis. Many people took to Tik Tok and Twitter (X), expressing that her ASD diagnosis is a crock and without professional backing she's using the diagnosis to excuse what many interpret as oppositional and combative behavior. Dr. Chanda, a licensed Clinical Psychologist, backed Amanda and further supported the need for accessible assessments and shared that she is not opposed to people engaging in research to understand inquisitions surrounding traits and behaviors closely related to a diagnosis or disorder. Dr. Chanda discusses the Amanda Seales situation employing her expertise and opinion to provide context to the full interview and her thoughts on self-diagnosing. Through Warda Farahm, a speech and language therapist, insight into the power of a diagnosis in the context of family is noteworthy. Wanda shares in Autism in Black Girls that "despite being a Speech and Language Therapist who has worked with many autistic children over the years and having my own unique lived experience, medical professionals I have come across have told me that I can not be autistic because I have multiple degrees, run a business, have a big social circle. I am successful by the arbitrary measures that our society imposes on us but to achieve it all I have worn many masks, so I can master my environment." Farahm sought assessments for her children and in seeking out professional assistance, she received a diagnosis for herself. Professionals and many others prior to her decison, assumed that because She was high-achieving and successful, an ASD diagnosis was impossible. Black women are expected to show up as "all of the things", but mentally ill or suffering from a disorder are not on the list. There is power is discovering and obtaining the knowledge and information to name the "thing." Autism and neurdivergence are not limitations, but rather exemplify the power of difference. Herbet, Seales, and Farahm are sparking the a larger and necessary conversation that Black Girls do have Autism, and Autism in Black Girls shows up differently and deserves the necessary attention. Citation: Rentz, C. (2018). Black And Latino Children Are Often Overlooked When It Comes To Autism. NPR.org. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/03/19/587249339/black-and-latino-children-are-often-overlooked-when-it-comes-to-autism Sterzing PR, Shattuck PT, Narendorf SC, Wagner M, Cooper BP. Bullying Involvement and Autism Spectrum Disorders: Prevalence and Correlates of Bullying Involvement Among Adolescents With an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2012;166(11):1058–1064. doi:10.1001/archpediatrics.2012.790 Additional Reading: Gilyard, K. (2023, June 7). How Black autistic women and girls are excluded from conversations on resources and research. The 19th. https://19thnews.org/2023/06/black-women-and-girls-autism-data/ Lovelace, T. S., Comis, M. P., Tabb, J. M., & Oshokoya, O. E. (2021). Missing from the Narrative: A Seven-Decade Scoping Review of the Inclusion of Black Autistic Women and Girls in Autism Research. Behavior Analysis in Practice, 15(4). https://doi.org/10.1007/s40617-021-00654-9 30nine. (2022, December 5). Autism in Black girls - Autistic Girls Network. Autistic Girls Network. https://autisticgirlsnetwork.org/autism-in-black-girls/ Sterzing, P. R., Shattuck, P. T., Narendorf, S. C., Wagner, M., & Cooper, B. P. (2012). Bullying Involvement and Autism Spectrum Disorders. Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, 166(11), 1058. https://doi.org/10.1001/archpediatrics.2012.790 Autism Speaks. (2022). Autism diagnostic criteria: DSM-5 | Autism speaks. Autism Speaks. https://www.autismspeaks.org/autism-diagnostic-criteria-dsm-5 Disclaimer: The contents of Sincerely Sanguine's (SS) Site, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the SS Site (“Content”) are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the SS Site. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 or local emergency number immediately. SS does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by SS, SS employees, others appearing on the Site at the invitation of SS, or other visitors to the Site is solely at your own risk. The Site and the Content are provided on an “as is” basis.
Neurodivergence: Understanding Autism in Black Girls and Women
Why are black girls and women under-diagnosed with ASD? Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is often under-diagnosed or left undiagnosed within many Blacks girls and women. The article, Black and Latino Children Are...
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Why do healthy relationships feel “boring”?
Within our article Dating the "medium-ugly" guy might be better for your mental health we address the possibility of dating the "medium-ugly" guy with hopes of finding a healthy partner, outside of physical appearance. Dating the "square" or "poindexter" can feel boring or unfulfilling, especially if this relationship follows a more toxic one. According to Psychology Today, here are three reasons why healthy relationships feel boring and bore some people. Relationships that feel like rollercoasters have become the norm for you You are accustomed to overextending yourself and ignore your needs Due to conditioning, you believe that healthy and consistent relationships are boring Safe and secure relationships can feel boring at times and it's important to consider are these feelings related to past experiences. Lean into the feelings of safety and security. Share your needs and insecurities often. You deserve a a love that feels safe! 3 Reasons Why Healthy Relationships Bore Some People | Psychology Today. (n.d.). Www.psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-dating/202212/3-reasons-you-feel-bored-by-a-healthy-relationship
Why do healthy relationships feel “boring”?
Within our article Dating the "medium-ugly" guy might be better for your mental health we address the possibility of dating the "medium-ugly" guy with hopes of finding a healthy partner, outside of physical...
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3 Easy Steps To Start and Run A Book Club With Friends
Finding time to read can be a hassle and navigating adult friendships can be difficult, especially amidst such demanding schedules. How do you find time to spend time with friends, when time feels limited? A book club is a great start! If you're considering starting a book club with your friends or curious about how to find book clubs, here are three easy steps to get started. Don't worry the tips are introvert and busy schedule friendly. How to start a book club with friends? Step one: find friends who are willing to commit to the book club and who will be involved The Reese Witherspoon Book Club is most notable for bringing people together through their love for literature and reading. Find inspo. for book club ideas/activities on virtual platforms such as Pinterest, Goodreads, and Tik Tok. There’s something special about starting a book club, and building community through one's love for literature. Finding willing and able participants is a great start for those interested in learning how to start a book club at school or how to start a book club online. Step two: as a group select the book that you would like to read When engaging in a book club online and starting a book club with friends, deciding which book to select can be a challenge. Our favorite online book club platform is Goodreads. Here's your personal book club invite to our book club 'Pot Liquor For The Soul.' We typically add books to a list and peek at other user's reviews for inspiration in order to determine if a book selection is the right fit. We happened to stumble upon our most recent book selection, ‘The House of Eve’ simply by searching “books for black girls” on Tik Tok. Keep an open mind when selecting attempting to select a book. Step three: Start a group chat! As you transition through the book use emojis and texts to document your reactions by chapter and to signify which chapters you've completed to the members of your book club. This approach adds new meaning to online book clubs. Often times, having to recap full chapters and find the words for your reactions can be tiring and take away from the experience. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Let the emojis do the talking. Within ‘Not Another Think Piece’ episode two, we discuss how we managed to engage in our first summer book club, and offered a book review of the novel 'The House of Eve.' "38" signifies the chapter and the emojis are the person's reaction to the chapter. We found that utilizing text message reactions, gifs, and short responses worked best for our busy work and school schedules. This is by far the simplest book club guide and instruction to get started. Many people are now homebodies, simply because free third spaces are becoming obsolete, and most activities are expensive, involve drinking, or lack creativity. A book club via text is a great method to build and maintain community. Also, once we finished the book we hosted a book club picnic! We came together in person and debriefed about the novel overall. How to run a book club discussion? When attempting to engage in a book club discussion with your friends, KISS. Keep it simple silly. Less is more when engaging in a book club discussion, because most times the conversation will go in many directions. As you read note themes, reactions, and thoughts. What questions are coming up for you as you are reading the chapter? What are you thoughts on particular characters? As you begin to discuss the book, ask your friends open-ended questions. This will allow the conversation to expand. Also, make predictions, but no spoilers! Lavar Burton would be proud! Reading is amazing and it's important to find ways to build community. It's especially important to find affordable activities to engage friends and maintain healthy friendships. What friends are you willing to ask to join your book club? Which book would you want to read first and why? Happy reading!
3 Easy Steps To Start and Run A Book Club With Friends
Finding time to read can be a hassle and navigating adult friendships can be difficult, especially amidst such demanding schedules. How do you find time to spend time with friends, when...
'Where is Your Mother...' The Complete Mother-Daughter Workbook to Heal Your Inner Child
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NOT ANOTHER THINK PIECE PODCASTSelf-care is crucial because it promotes overall well-being, reduces stress, and enhances resilience, allowing individuals to lead healthier and more fulfilling lives. We believe self-care is for everyone, even the busiest of individuals!
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Welcome to Pot Liquor for the soul, a compassionate book club forum founded by Dasia (Dasiasaysso) dedicated to nurturing mental wellness through the power of literature. Here, we offer a supportive space for to explore books that inspire self-reflection, promote healing, and cultivate resilience.