Title "Am I sabotaging my success on purpose?" with a picture of a stressed woman and Lisa Simpson reading a book that says 'How to self Sabotage'. There is a read stop sign with the phrase 'Stop Immediately' and the text below 'Who's really to blame?'

Am I sabotaging my success on purpose?

2 minute read

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

☎️ Many are called, but very few pick up the phone. If you're anything like me, you intentionally watch the phone ring straight to voicemail. Are you more afraid of failure or are you afraid of the expectations that will follow once you succeed? 

Survivor’s remorse (or survivor’s guilt) is loosely defined as feeling a sense of shame or guilt because you made it out of a “life-threatening” event and others did not. Many people have aspirations of “making it out of the hood”, but the fear of leaving others behind creates a dilemma. 

There’s a show called ‘Survivor’s Remorse’ which depicts this phenomenon perfectly. Quick summary: A man from Boston (Beantown natives to the front🍀) is chosen to play professional basketball in Atlanta. He brings his cousin (now manager), mom, sister, and uncle. Throughout the show we as viewers watch him navigate the different dynamics of athlete, relative, role model, and business partner. The show is hilarious; the Boston accents (or what the writers perceive as Boston accents) are deplorable. Outside of that, I definitely recommend you take a look. LeBron James is also an executive producer. 

I believe that survivor’s remorse and success anxiety are closely linked. If you often feel anxious when making strides to better yourself simply because of the fear of what will be expected of you after you succeed, you could be experiencing success anxiety. Sharing is caring, but understand that everyone has a life journey and it’s not your job to save anyone. Assist, help, or even guide, but release the weight of questioning why you made it and others did not. Stop sabotaging your success! 

Sabotaging your success might look like: 

  • Dimming your light for the comfort of others
  • Procrastination 
  • Negative Self-talk
  • Serving as the savior or protector 

This is your sign to embrace YOUR success! This is your life to live! You can bring people up with you, but don’t feel obligated to carry them on your back! 

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